Texts Between Team Free Will
by CastielWinchester101
Summary: What do Cas, Dean and Sam do in their free time? Why they text each other of course! This is a collection of all the lovely texts they send back and forth! *Now with other characters like Crowley, Bobby, Gabriel, and even Balthazar!**Keep in mind that quite a few (not all) of these texts are pairings, however there is a little something for everyone!*
1. Chapter 1

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Sam's cooking dinner

 _Cas: Oh, how nice._

Dean: Do you want your wings fried extra crispy?

Dean: HAHAHAHA, didnt realize that pun till I sent it

Dean: Cas? You there?

Dean: Cas, do you want your wings fried extra crispy?

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Hello Dean, could you please come upstairs for a moment?_

Dean: in a minute Cas

 _Cas: It's been a minute Dean_

Dean: I dont care im busy

 _Cas: Busy with what, Dean? What are you doing?_

Dean: Im.. reading

 _Cas: What are you reading?_

 _Cas: Dean..._

 _Cas: Deeeaaaannnn_

Dean: The bible , leave me alone

 _Cas: Oh, what a fantastic read_

 _Cas: I'm glad your getting in touch with the scripture_

 _Cas: Come up now please, I can tell you everything you need to know, I've memorized the bible_

 _Cas: Dean_

 _Cas: Deeeaaannnn_

 _Cas: Deeeeeeeaaaannnnn_

 _Cas: DEAN_

 _Cas: JESUS DIES_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey Cas

 _Cas: Hello Dean_

Dean: I was thinkin

 _Cas: What were you thinking about?_

Dean: That maybe

 _Cas: That maybe what, Dean?_

Dean: That maybe you and I could

 _Cas: We could what?_

Dean: STOP FREAKING INTERRUPTING ME

 _Cas: I'm sorry Dean, go ahead. What were you thinking?_

Dean: Alright, I was thinking

 _Cas: Don't strain yourself, Dean_

Dean: SCREW YOU CAS

 _Cas: You do not have to be mean, I was merely concerned about your well-being_

Dean: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

 _Cas: I love God_

Dean: YOU KNOW WHAT CAS JUST FORGET IT

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: I just woke up

 _Cas: Good morning, Dean. Did you sleep well?_

Dean: Cas...

 _Cas: Yes, Dean?_

Dean: Why is there a hula hoop on top of me?

 _Cas: Oh that. Your welcome Dean :)_

Dean: What, Why?

 _Cas: I like you_

 _Cas: A hula-hoop is a circle_

 _Cas: Circles are rings_

Dean: Now im even more confused

 _Cas: I listened to some sage advice_

 _Cas: From Beyonce_

 _Cas: I like you Dean, therefore I should put a ring on you_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey Cas

Dean: Knock Knock

 _Cas: I do not understand Dean, why are you knocking?_

Dean: It's a joke Cas, just go with it.

 _Cas: Oh I get it now. You're pretending to knock on a phone. Hahaha_

Dean: That's not the joke Cas, I havent gotten to the joke yet

Dean: Your supposed to say "who's there"

 _Cas: Why would I ask that? There is not an actual door here_

Dean: PRETEND THERES A DOOR

Dean: YOUR INSIDE

Dean: IM OUTSIDE

Dean: IM KNOCKIN AT THE DOOR

 _Cas: You don't have to capitalize your letters, Dean. I can read just fine._

Dean: Can we just try this again?

 _Cas: Of course, Dean_

Dean: Okay fantastic

Dean: Knock Knock

 _Cas: Come in, Dean_

Dean: DAMMIT CAS!

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	2. Chapter 2

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean, I've just finished reading my book_

Dean: thats nice Cas

 _Cas: What do I do now?_

Dean: somethin else

 _Cas: What do you mean "something else"?_

Dean: Dunno, watch TV, clean the house, make me pie, stuff like that

 _Cas: BUT MY BOOK, IT IS OVER_

Dean: Cas, calm down, just read another book

 _Cas: READ ANOTHER BOOK?_

 _Cas: YOU THINK IT IS THAT EASY?_

 _Cas: THAT IS LIKE HAVING YOUR CHILD DIE_

 _Cas: AND SAYING "OH IT IS NOTHING OF IMPORT JUST HAVE ANOTHER BABY!"_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Castiel: Sam, my mobile device seems to be malfunctioning_

Sam Winchester: What do you mean Cas? Everything okay?

 _Castiel: I attempt to write one thing, and it says another_

Sam Winchester: Okay, what are you trying to type?

 _Castiel: I am trying to say the word those fluffy winged dickheads_

 _Castiel: Those fluffy winged dickheads_

 _Castiel: I am not typing that. I am typing those fluffy winged dickheads_

 _Castiel: S_

 _Castiel: This is infuriating_

Sam Winchester: Um, I think you will have to take that up with Dean, looks like

he messed with your autocorrect...

 _Castiel: I do not even know where That Sexy Beast is located at the time being_

 _Castiel: That Sexy Beast_

Sam Winchester: ….?

 _Castiel: D E A N, please help Sam_

Sam Winchester: Sure, just let me... let me regain the ability to breathe.

 _Castiel: In the words of That Sexy Beast, duck you Sam_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Sammy: I have this great game. It's like russian roulette but with your beer

 _Dean: What did you do to my beer?_

Sammy: Convinced a priest to bless a few, added salt to others.

And you don't know which ones.

 _Dean: I have a better game, it's called how many stabs to get to the center of Sammy_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: yeah well, I am pretty awesome

Dean: IM BATMAN

 _Cas: Yes Dean, you are much like the batman_

Dean: Ooh Cas tell me more

 _Cas: Your parents are dead_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Did it hurt?

Cas: No

Dean: U don't even know what I was talking about!

 _Cas: I assume you were referring to when I accidentally walked into a glass door_

Dean: Hahaahha

Dean: No but that was funny shit

 _Cas: It's been a month Dean. Are you seriously going to remind me of that on a daily basis?_

Dean: YES

Dean: But that wasn't what I was going to ask you

Dean: Let's try this again

Dean: Did it hurt?

 _Cas: Did what hurt?_

Dean: When you fell from heaven?

Dean: Cas?

Dean: Castiel?

Dean: You there?

 _Cas: YES, YES I AM_

 _Cas: AND YES IT DID HURT_

 _Cas: The nerve on you Dean Winchester_

 _Cas: MIGHT I REMIND YOU ABOUT WHY I FELL FROM HEAVEN_

 _Cas: AND FOR WHOM_

 _Cas: You should be ashamed of yourself_

Dean: HAHHAAHA

Dean: I want to be sorry, but im not

 _Cas: How nice of you to seek humor from my pain_

Dean: Its a pick up line Cas, your supposed to laugh and feel good

 _Cas: I don't understand your choices in life Dean_

 _Cas: But I do have a follow up question_

 _Cas: Did it hurt?_

Dean: Cas, you cant use that same line on me

 _Cas: So I assume that it did hurt?_

Dean: Did what hurt?

 _Cas: When you escaped the bowels of hell and clawed your way up to earth_

Dean: SCREW YOU CAS

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	3. Chapter 3

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey there buddy! Whats up?

 _Cas: ….Dean? Something odd happened.._

Dean: Odd? Whats going on feathers?

 _Cas: Every time you message me a sound goes off... it sounds like a_

 _woman moaning, did you touch my cellular device?_

Dean: Maaaaybe!

 _Cas: Please stop messaging me Dean. I am in the store. People are looki_ ng

Dean: Looking at what?

Dean: You?

Dean: That's rude of them

 _Cas: Stop it, Dean Winchester. This is not the appropriate place for moaning!_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Knock Knock

 _Cas: Oh, this is another one of those jokes_

 _Cas: Okay Dean, who's there?_

Dean: Pizza

 _Cas: I dont understand_

Dean: just say "pizza who"

 _Cas: But its just pizza, it is an object, not a physical being, it can not knock_

Dean: Fine, lets try another one

Dean: Knock Knock

 _Cas: Who's there?_

Dean: Sammy

 _Cas: Pizza who! :)_

Dean: ….

Dean: Cas

Dean: You were supposed to say "Sammy who?"

 _Cas: But you said to say "pizza who"_

 _Cas: Dean?_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Cas, were are you?

 _Cas: I'm in the closet_

Dean: Cas, what are you doing in the closet?

 _Cas: I am looking for Narnia_

Dean: That's not a real place Cas

 _Cas: Yes it is Dean_

 _Cas: You, of all people, know it is_

Dean: What? How would I know?

 _Cas: Sam said_

Dean: THE HELL DID THAT BITCH SAY

 _Cas: He said that you were so far in the closet , that you reached Narnia_

Dean: IM GONNA KILL HIM

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Cas? Where are you man?

Dean: Cas?

Dean: Cas, you need to press the letters on the screen to reply..

Dean: Cas?

Dean: God dammit Cas

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Sam

Dean: I am going to kill you

Sammy: Yeah? Then come get me

Dean: ... after I kill you, im going to dance on your grave

Sammy: uh huh, so which of my hidden demon traps are you stuck in?

Dean: …..

Dean: the uh, one you put under Cas's bed

Sammy: I FUCKING KNEW IT

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Go ahead Dean, ask me anything.

Dean: Then stop interrupting me

Cas: I am sorry Dean, ask your question

Dean: Cas, would you like to go out with me?

Cas: But Dean... I am already outside

Cas: Would you like to step outside the house and join me?

Cas: Or would you like me to step inside the house and join you in stepping outside the house?

Cas: We would be going out together

Dean: FORGET IT CAS

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	4. Chapter 4

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Cas: Dean, what is this?

Dean: Its called texting Cas, weve been over this

Cas: But Dean, would it not be easier to talk face to face?

Dean: Cas... Shut up...

Cas: But Dean

Dean: …..shush

Cas: Dean

Dean: …...

Cas:

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: I think I need a little time away from the bunker, you coming with?

Cas: I wouldn't be opposed, where should I meet you and Sam?

Dean: Sammy's not coming with, cut my hand this morning and he got this look in his eye..

Dean: Im worried hes gonna take a straw and drink me like a juice box...

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, I am confused

Dean: What else is new, What now Cas?

Cas: On the facebook page. There are little hands everywhere, what do they mean?

Dean: Did Sam make you a facebook? You click on the hand if you want to like a comment

Cas: I see, I have clicked the little hand. I suppose that means I have liked the comment

Dean: Good for you

Cas: Like.

Dean: You dont have to like my comments

Cas: Like.

Dean: Stop that.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, can you tell me a joke?

Dean: Why bother?

Dean: You won't get it

Cas: Yes I will, I'm more experienced now.

Cas: I'll understand any reference

Cas: Test me

Dean: No Thanks Cas

Cas: Please Dean?

Cas: Dean, Please

Dean: No

Cas: I'll be more cooperative this time?

Dean: I said no Cas

Cas: Please Dean?

Cas: Pleeeeaaassseeee

Cas: Dean... Please

Dean: Alright, Alright fine

Cas: Thank you Dean

Cas: Give me a moment, I must ready myself

Cas: Alright, go

Dean: Two guys walk into a bar

Cas: Yes, and ?

Dean: Knock Knock

Cas: Who's there?

Cas: Dean, Who is knocking?

Cas: Tell Me

Cas: Dean? Was that you knocking?

Cas: Dean?

Cas: I don't get the joke

Cas: Am I supposed to laugh now?

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey cutie

Cas: Dean?

Dean: I meant cutie

Cas: What?

Dean: Son of a bitch, I mean CUTIE

Cas: Dean, what is going on?

Dean: idk cutie , I mean to say cutie

Cas: Dean, what does idk mean?

Dean: C A S

Dean: NOT CUTIE

Dean: your not cute

Cas: Well neither are you then.

Dean: Dammit cutie, I look better then you

Cas: But Dean, you just called me a "cutie".

Cas: multiple times, might I add

Dean: I'm going to ask Taller Than You whats wrong with my phone

Cas: Taller Than You?

Dean: I meant Taller Than You

Dean: Dammit, I men Y

Dean: IM GOING TO CUT YOUR HAIR, TALLER THAN YOU

Cas: That would be cruel of you Dean, he loves his hair

Dean: Shut up cutie

Cas: Well, I suggest you go find I Have Better Hair Than You to ask him about your phone

Cas: …

Cas: It seems I Have Better Hair Than You messed with both our phones

Dean: You hold Taller Than You down, ill cut the hair

Cas: Got it

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

?: Okay, tell me everything you want me to do to you tonight

Dean: You can pick me up a burger from Five Guys and a large fry

?: Dean?

Dean: Yep, loverboy

Cas: Oh, I met a girl named Dana, I must have accidentally texted the wrong number

Dean: Cool story, but seriously, get me that burger

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean I have found a site named "Tumbler"

Dean: You mean tumblr? Cas stay away from there, it will rot your brain out

Cas: I entered my name in the search bar, people on here seem to have trouble spelling it

Cas: They seem to refer to me as "Destiel"

Dean: Cas, get off of there right this instance!

Cas: There are several images on here

Dean: Cas, I swear to god! Get off of there!

Cas: I clicked on the pictures, they enlarged..

Cas: …..

Cas: I am never getting off of the Tumbler, Dean Winchester

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about earlier chapters, where they had autocorrect problems, when I tried to fix it like**

 **C A S with a space between every letter, apparently some of the letters got lost somewhere.**

 **I hope you could understand it even thought that happened.**

 **Just a warning, this chapter might be rated a little higher, like a T+ if that exists**

 **because some of the texts have a bit more of a sexual theme to them. But**

 **if you watch Supernatural, then well it's nothing out of the norm :P So enjoy!**

 **Also, a quick Thank You to everyone who reads and enjoys my storys! At the time of writing**

 **this (11/7/2016) my story has over 500 views and over 200 visitors! It has been only 5 days since I posted the first chapter. I barely expected this to get 20 views. So Thank You all!**

 **Much love to everyone who enjoys these 3, you all are awesome. But let's stop the chick**

 **flick moment and get on with the texts, shall we?**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Did you know that humans were very inventive with torture in the medieval times?

Sam: Before you go into a history lesson, what brings this on?

Cas: I believe Dean is getting creative. He keeps torturing a

bar with a micrphone, saying I am too sexy for assorted clothing items

Sam: That isn't torture that's Right Said Fred

Cas: Fred was wrong

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, I have something most interesting to share with you

Dean: Course you do, Lets hear it Cas

Cas: Your brother has explained to me that it is acceptable to use emotional

expressions to convey feeling through text

Dean: …..you mean emoticons?

Cas: What is an "emoticon" Dean? Confused face

Dean: Di.. Did you just type "confused face"?

Cas: Indeed I did. Smiley face

Dean: Cas

Dean: Thats not how it works. You have to actually make the face. Like this :)

Cas: I see. I understand now. Thank you Dean for your assistance. Colon closed parentheses

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Sammy: Dean, have you been looking at porn again? There are all these weird folders on your computer

Dean: ….DONT OPEN THOSE

Sammy: What, and look at your porn. No thank you

Dean: Good, because its crazy porn. Not something that you could handle

Sammy: …...Wait, Dean

Sammy: Is this pie?

Dean: YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT LOOK

Dean: DAMMIT SAM

Sammy: Are... you hoarding pictures of pie? FIVE HUNDRED PICTURES OF PIE?!

Dean: Shut up Sam, you drank demon blood. And had sex with a demon

There's nothing wrong with me I'm normal, your the crazy one

Sam: ...Dean, Pie...You're hiding.. Pie porn... You're sexually attracted to pie?

Dean: DONT TALK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT, YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: I'm having issues.

Dean: It's Cas... I dunno, he's sometimes hard to read

Sammy: Are we really about to have this conversation?

Dean: I'm serious Sam, sometimes I can't tell if he dosent care, or

just dosent understand.. It's I dont know..

Sammy: Dean.. Cas is crazy about you. I can see it, the only time that guy even shows

emotion is when he's talking about you. I mean come on. "profound bond?"

That's practically a proposal from him.

Dean: ...Yeah, I guess your right. I just forget sometimes I guess... Thanks Sammy.

I'm surprised your still single

Sam: Hey, I don't know why either, its not like I'm not looking.

Dean: It's the hair

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey Cas?

Cas: Yes, Dean?

Dean: How much do you love me?

Cas: Well, look outside and count the stars. That's how much I love you.

Dean: But

Dean: But it's the middle of the day

Cas: Exactly.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Happy Valentines Day.

Cas: Dean? You do not seem the type to celebrate such superficial holidays.

Except Christmas of course.

Dean: Hey! Its not superficial! I mean, alright, maybe a little but its supposed to be romantic

Cas: I do not understand why humans consider the death of a saint, romantic.

Dean: Come on! You know, flowers, chocolates, frisky times ;) you should come

over so we can celebrate properly.

Cas: If you wish. Would you like me to bring balloons, Dean?

Dean: What? No, Cas, jst come over, We dont need balloons to

celebrate Valentines Day

Cas: Dean, Im failing to understand. How can we celebrate

without celebratory items?

Dean: Cas.. Im asking you to come over and have sex.

Cas: Oh, I see. In that case, yes I would like to celebrate Valentines Day

with you, Dean Winchester.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	6. Chapter 6

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean

Dean: Yeah Cas? What's up?

Cas: I am watching a movie

Dean: Yeah? And what movie would that be?

Cas: I am watching it because it's called "Angels In The Outfield"

Dean: Ah okay, Why are you texting me about it?

Cas: It was about a boy losing his father if the baseball team didn't win... He lost

him regardless. It reminded me of God... even though we prevented the apocalypse

we didn't receive him.

Dean: Ah, Gotcha... I'm sorry Cas... I.. I mean, I know he ment and well still... means

a lot to you. But hey, why dont you stop reminding yourself of the bad times and

we go get some pie and a beer, huh? Sammy forgot it again so i'm gonna head

down to the diner in town.

Cas: ok Dean. I think you should go by your self, I …. need some time alone

Dean: Alright, if you need anything, just text me

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Hey Cas, would you mind poofing me over a burger and some fries?

Cas: Dean, I am not a fast-food service

Dean: And I care why? Are you gonna get me that burger or not?

Cas: I don't even know the bushes from what place you would like me to get them

Dean: What? Bushes? Cas, I said burger. Why would I want a bush?

I'm not a freaking gardener

Cas: I know you don't want a bush Dean, you asked me for a bushes. But I don't know

where to get it from

Dean: …...

Dean: Cas... Burger

Dean: If your really that into getting a bush go to, idk Menards or something

they have bushes right?

Cas: Dean, I am in a cabin in Russia

Dean: Russia? Why the hell are you there?

Cas: How many Menards do I have to ask for a bush?

Cas: Where do I find these Menards?

Dean: How the hell should I know where there's a Menards in Russia?

Cas: Dean, why do you need a Bush and food?

Dean: Cas, I don't want a freaking bush!

Cas: I am in India now, they have what is called an Indian Burger

would you like that?

Dean: NO, Sam made me eat one of those once, I puked for days.

Five guys, Cas, thats what I want

Cas: okay then, I will ask five guys if they want you to eat.. wait did you

jut say you want five guys to eat?

Dean: No Cas, I dont want five raymond guys . Five guys is the name of a fast food place

Cas: Wait, so you want me to find you five guys named raymond to make you five guy burgers?

Dean: Dammit Cas, I just want a regular burger. It's the number 6 at the restaurant

Cas: What does the number 6 mean to the five guys named raymond?

Dean: Cas... Let's just start over

Dean: Scratch all that...

Dean: Okay, Cas

Dean: Could you please, kindly get me a number 6 from the fast-food joint named Five Guys?

Cas: OK, Hello, Dean, my name is Castiel. I am an angel of the lord

Dean: DAMMIT CAS

Cas: I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

Dean: I DIDNT MEAN START ALL OVER FROM THE BEGINNING

Cas: Oh, you didn't specify

Dean: you know what Cas?

Cas: What Dean?

Dean: I'll get my own freaking burger

Dean: This is way to much trouble

Cas: Okay, can I have one too? I'll be there in five minutes

Dean: Bye Cas, and no you can't, get it yourself

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, I have succeeded in completing my first solo hunt

Dean: ….. you finished a hunt? All on your own?

Cas: Yes

Dean: No help with anything? No interrogations? No nothing?

Cas: I was completely unaided Dean, interrogations were not necessary.

Dean: Hey! Good for you! What did you gank?

Cas: It was a beast, made out of snow and ice, terrorizing a lawn of small children

Dean: …...

Dean: A Snowman? You went and attacked a snowman on someones lawn?

Cas: He seemed unable to move out of fear, so his defeat was an easy task. The children

seemed frightened and ran. It is a thankless job for us hunters, Dean.

Dean: I can't imagine how you pulled that off. Good Job Cas...

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: I'm done hunting with you. Youre cramping my style too much, yah know

sometimes I wish you were never born

Sammy: OK, bye

Dean: "OK bye"? Thats all I get? I tell you I wish you had never been born and all I

get is an ok bye?

Sammy: Dude, I dont have my soul. I dont really give two shits. Have fun stabbing things

and singing bad karaoke

Dean: You shut your mouth. My karaoke rocks.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, I seemed to have misplaced my telephone number, may I have yours?

Dean: ...What? You already have my number?

Cas: If it were possible to rearrange the American english alphabet I would put you and I together

Dean: Cas, what the hell are you talking about?... Are.. Are you hitting on me? With pick-up lines?

Cas: Are you a ticket given for a parking violation? Because you have

"attractive male" written all over you

Dean: Fine, Cas

Cas: Fine? Are you impressed then? I found these on one of the internets.

Dean: I mean it's "Fine"

Dean: Are you a parking ticket, because you got "fine" written all over you

Cas: Thank you Dean, I appreciate the compliment

Dean: Cas... Just.. Just stop using the internet

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: With you a demon, and Sam soulless and me... as I am now, I imagine things will change

Cas: I will miss hunting with you Dean

Dean: You know what i'm going to miss?

Dean: Count chocula and boo berry cereal. Plus pumpkin spice. Why dont

they have that shit year round? 

Cas: Very touching, Dean

()o()o()o()o()o()o


	7. Chapter 7

**There probably wont be many more chapters , I'm running out**

 **of texts and ideas! :(**

 **So, if you want to keep these chapters coming, suggest**

 **some themes and ideas for future texts!**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Where the hell are you?

Dean: You cant just disappear on me like that!

Cas: Yes, I can. I do it quite often

Dean: Not the point Cas

Dean: Where are you?

Cas: I am on a bus

Dean: On a bus? You know how to take a bus?

Cas: Dean, I am not a child

Cas: I am older then you, Please don't underestimate my commuting skills

Dean: Where are you going?

Cas: Some place happy

Dean: White castle?

Cas: No

Dean: That cat place?

Cas: No

Dean: the zoo?

Cas: Dean, please, as I've mentioned before I am not a child

Dean: oh so anywhere away from me then?

Dean: Cas?

Dean: Screw you Cas

Dean: Cas, where are you, tell me now!

Dean: Screw it, I tracked you gps

Dean: I'm gonna kill you when I find you

Dean: CAS 

Dean: YOUR IN DISNEYLAND

Cas: There is a princess here that reminds me of you, Dean.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Cas: Dean, I would like us to be friends, demon or not

Cas: If you're happy, send me your smiles

Cas: If you're sad, send me your tears

Cas: If you're stressed, send me your worries

Dean: Im on the can. What do you want me to send?

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: So, i'm about to attack a bunch of vamps and I turn on Pandora for an

epic song to play while I let em have it

Dean: And apparently Cas was playing with my phone and Let it go started playing.

I couldn't bring myself to turn it off.

Sammy: Did you sing it like you do in the shower?

Dean: …... you heard that?

Sammy: I recorded it. If I cant kill you, I can blackmail you

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Sammy: You need to keep a better eye on Cas

Dean: Did he show up covered in bees again?

Sammy: and nothing else

Sammy: I've never tried so hard, not to startle a bunch of bees

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: Cas...

Cas: Yes Dean?

Dean: I have something to tell you... I.. uh.. have this really bad disease

Cas: You are ill? What is the name of this disease?

Dean: It's called Featherbrainphobia. It could be fatal

Cas: I am looking for a cure now Dean, do not die

Dean: Thanks Cas, Sammy hasn't been able to find anything on it yet

Cas: No one in California knows of a cure for Featherbrainphobia, Dean

Cas: I am checking New York now.

Dean: April Fools! Come on, man. You didn't really believe me did you? That was terrible

Cas: Nothing in New York, Dean. I am checking China.

Cas: My cellular device might not be able to contact you there

Dean: Cas, Stop! It was a joke!

Dean: Cas?

Dean: God Dammit, Cas

Cas: April Fools, Dean Winchester. I have not left the state. Perhaps in the future.

think of a more creative illness name. I may be out of touch with your society, but i'm not stupid

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Dean: You better talk to your boyfriend because i'm about to go crazy on that son of a bitch

Sammy: ...Huh? My boyfriend?

Dean: Gabriel. I'm about to gank Gabriel.

Sammy: He's not my boyfriend Dean, that's disgusting. What happened?

Dean: I got a pie

Sammy:... Good story, Dean

Dean: Shut up, I wasnt done. I got an apple pie, I cut into it and put a piece on my plate.

And then it exploded. Sam. The whole damn thing exploded right in my face.

I'm covered in pie and I can't get it out of my hair.

Sammy: I'm on my way

Dean: Are you gonna help me clean it up?

Sammy: Hell no, I need pictures.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the short chapter! But I wanted to**

 **get at least something out for you guys!**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: I find it very odd that humans drink the milk of cows, and occasionally of_

 _other animals, but never of their own species_

 _Cas: Admittedly, I don't believe many human females would appreciate being milked_

 _but it is still odd behavior for the animal kingdom. Adult cows don't drink_

 _from goats, or dogs, or rhinos_

Dean: Cas, how far are you into la la land at the moment?

 _Cas: Yes._

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Castiel: Sam, it is Castiel, Is Dean alright?_

Sam: I know its you Cas, you're saved in my phone. Dean is fine, hes sleeping. Why?

 _Castiel: I am concerned. He was not answering my cellular text messages._

Sam: … He's sleeping.

 _Castiel: I sent several_

Sam: He's ASLEEP, you know he's never up this early unless he has to be

 _Castiel: Well, please tell him to message me when he awakens? It is not of great_

 _import, I am just eager to hear from him._

Sam: Alright, sure I will let him know when he wakes up. How are you?

 _Castiel: I am sorry Sam, I did not message you to have a personal conversation._

 _I find it difficult to be interested in the things you have to say._

Sam: ...Well, ouch.

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean.. where are you going?_

Dean: to work on a case

 _Cas: :(_

Dean: What?

 _Cas: I wanted to come_

Dean: Cas you cant..

 _Cas: Ill let you make knock knock jokes_

Dean: You don't even understand them

 _Cas: Yes I do_

Dean: Knock Knock

 _Cas: I don't live in a house_

Dean: …...

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Sam: Cas, where are you?

 _Castiel: Hiding. You told Dean I ate his pie. I thought we were friends, Sam._

Sam: We are friends, but you cant just eat other peoples things without asking.

 _Castiel: I will suffer consequences much worse then hell for eating Dean's pie_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

Sam: Hey Cas, you got a second?

 _Castiel: I do not believe it is physically possible to own time, Sam._

Sam: ..Right, I just need your help.

 _Castiel: I will do all I can to assist you_

Sam: Thanks, its just a question. I was going to pick up something for Dean,

after he saved my ass on our last hunt

Sam: What do you think I should him?

 _Castiel: That is a very good question, Sam. I suppose Dean is a hard person to buy a gift for._

Sam: Yeah, its not like I can get him more guns, we have more then plenty.

 _Castiel: A fan_

Sam: What? A fan? Why?

 _Castiel: Dean is frequently complaining after his hunts about how he requires "a good blow"._

 _I think a fan will be satisfactory for his needs_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	9. Chapter 9

**How do you feel about Destiel? *Insert your thoughts here***

 **Well, that's what this chapter is all about, so if you don't like it, I am truly sorry.**

 **Buuuutt if you do then enjoy! I expect fangirling! Even if your a guy.**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Cas, I have something I need to tell you.**

 _Cas: Yes, Dean? What is it?_

 **Dean: I...**

 **Dean: I am in lesbians with you**

 _Cas: What?_

 **Dean: I really mean it..**

 _Cas: Oh, um okay then, Dean, but I am not really sure what that means_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Goodnight, I will help you with that research when you wake up in the morning_

 **Dean: Cas, you up?**

 **Dean: okay thats good, might be easier to say this and leave it for you in the morning**

 **Dean: Sams snoring his ass off in the next bed over. I'm lying here, and I cant stop thinking**

 **about getting home to you. It hits me how friggin weird that is to think off: home**

 **Dean: But that's what you are to me and I dont know if thats lame or**

 **cheesy as hell but I just thought you should know.**

 **Dean: Well, thats it, goodnight Cas**

 _Cas: You are home to me too Dean._

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Hey Cas, what do you think of ice skating?**

 _Cas: I dont really have an opinion on that topic._

 **Dean: I mean, do you want to go ice skating with me?**

 _Cas: Oh, well I am rather quite clumsy and I am afraid I would fall down quite often._

 **Dean: Dont worry about that, ill catch your feathery butt every time.**

 _Cas: Promise?_

 **Dean: Promise**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean, sometimes. I do not like it that you are taller then me_

 **Dean: Trust me Cas, theres an advantage to that.**

 _Cas: Like what?_

 **Dean: When I hug you, you can listen to my heart, which only beats for you 3**

 _Cas: Very poetic, Dean, but I always end up smelling your armpit_

 _during hugs anyway_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: I am sad, Dean_

 **Dean: Hey there drunky, I'm on my way home. Why are you sad?**

 _Cas: Becusase Dean, mmy posterior is insufificent._

 **Dean: There's nothing wrong with your ass Castiel.**

 _Cas: Your lying to me_

 **Dean: I am not having this conversation, I'm walking to the door now.**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: I think I am ready to try_

 **Sam: Ready to try what?**

 _Cas: The thing we talked about. Texting our sexual interests._

 _I am in physical need of your body._

 **Sam: ….Castiel**

 _Cas: It is late and I am eager to please you. Perhaps orally._

 _It seems to be your favorite_

 **Sam: CASTIEL ITS SAM**

 _Cas: ….I do not understand._

 **Sam: It's Sam, your texting Sam**

 _Cas: Oh, I apologize, Sam. I must retract what I said, I do not wish_

 _to please you orally._

 **Sam: Brb, finding bleach to scrub my brain out with.**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean, could you please come over here?_

 **Dean: Why dont you just do your angel mojo thing?**

 _Cas: Because Dean, I cant._

 _Cas: Its gone_

 **Dean: What do you mean "its gone"?**

 _Cas: As in, i've fallen... and I need you.._

 **Dean: Dont worry, im on my way.**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Benny: Hey there Dean, how'd your valentines day go?**

 _Castiel: This is not Dean. You should be more attentive Benny_

 **Benny: Oh, hey Cas. Good to hear from you too. So how was YOUR valentines day?**

 _Castiel: it was quite nice actually. I spent it with Dean._

 **Benny: Yeah, I guessed as much. You two were pretty cozy back in purgatory**

 _Castiel: Yes, we are quite cozy. You are not cozy with Dean. So you should_

 _stop not be messaging him._

 **Benny: You sure of that? We got pretty cozy when we got back to earth you know..**

 _Castiel: You are lying... Where is Dean's birthmark located?_

 **Benny: ...Dean has a birthmark?**

 _Cas: On his right buttick. Thank you for confirming my point._

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Sammy: I'm not into Cas like that, gross. I mean we hugged, thats about it._

 **Dean: Just a hug?**

_Sammy: Oh yeah, A nice slow, naked hug._

 **Dean: SAM I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR COMPUTER**

 _Sammy: KIDDING, IM KIDDING. DONT HURT IT._

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	10. Chapter 10

**I had so many Destiel texts, I had to make another chapter for all of them.**

 **Next Chap will be all about Sabriel, if anyone is interested :P**

 **But in the mean time enjoy some more Destiel 3**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Well then I guess i'll have to start with** ripping **that goddamn trench coat off**

 **your sexy fine shoulders so that I might have better access to your neck y'know?**

 _Cas: Intriguing. And after?_

 **Dean: That blue tie. I might tighten it a bit before slipping that off too so I can**

 **bite your mysterious hidden collarbones and hopefully force you to make some**

 **sort of noise that isn't a three-syllabled word.**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean, I have something to tell you_

 **Dean: What did you step on this time?**

 _Cas: No, its nothing like that_

 **Dean: Then what is it?**

 _Cas: I ship us_

 **Dean: WHAT?**

 _Cas: I ship us_

 **Dean: What the hell does that even mean?**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Cas, are you there?**

 _Cas: Yes, Dean. Is something wrong?_

 **Dean: Sam just said he wouldn't save me if I were going to die and that**

 **I only do things so I don't get hurt.**

 _Cas: Dean, I am so sorry. You know you do things because you believe it is_

 _the right thing and because you care about people. Don't listen to Sam, okay?_

 **Dean: okay...**

 _Cas: When are you getting home?_

 **Dean: In a couple hours**

 _Cas: When you get back, come to my room and I promise I'll make_

 _everything better, okay?_

 **Dean: Okay, Thanks Cas**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Hey Cas**

 _Cas: Yes Dean?_

 **Dean: Whatcha wearing?**

 _Cas: Jimmy Novak_

 **Dean: Ya...Yah know what Cas, just.. Just nvm... you ruined it**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean?_

 **Dean: Yeah beautiful?**

 _Cas: I am in love with you, you and I know that love is just a shout into the void,_

 _and that oblivion is inevitable, and that were all doomed and that_

 _there will come a day when all out labor has been returned to dust, and_

 _I know the sun will swallow the only earth will ever have,_

 _and I am in love with you Dean Winchester._

 **Dean: Aw.. Cas.. I..I dont know what to say...**

 _Cas: Maybe our "I dont know what to say" will be our always._

 **Dean: Wait, Cas...**

 _Cas: Yes, Dean?_

 **Dean: Did you watch the "Fault In Our Stars"?**

 _Cas: Yes I did, why?_

 **Dean: Ah, I see**

 _Cas: You see what?_

 _Cas: What is it you see Dean?_

 _Cas: Dean, are you still there?_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Hey babe, whatcha doing?**

 _Cas: ...nothing_

 **Dean: What are you wearing?**

 _Cas: nothing ;)_

 **Dean: oh god, Cas, thats hot**

 _Cas: lol just kidding, it's actually Gabe. Interesting way to find out you're_

 _having sex with my brother, though._

 **Dean: I hate you**

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 _Cas: Dean, it is late._

 _Cas: Where are you?_

 _Cas: Come home now_

 **Dean: Relax Cas, I'm just having a few beers**

 _Cas: There is beer in the refrigerator_

 _Cas: You can drink your beer's here_

 **Dean: I'll be home in a bit, go to sleep**

 _Cas: I do not require sleep at the moment_

 _Cas: I shall wait for your return_

 **Dean: That's real sweet of you, Cas, but you really dont have too**

 **Dean: You can just go to sleep**

 _Cas: No I shall wait. I am not tired_

 _Cas: I am wide awake_

 _Cas: It is 3:00 am, Dean_

 _Cas: Now it is 3:01 am_

 _Cas: 3:02 am_

 _Cas: 3:03 am_

 _Cas: I am going to turn on the lights so I will not fall asleep till you get home_

 _Cas: It is 3:07 am_

 _Cas: 3:10 am_

 _Cas: I believe it is "later" Dean._

 _Cas: Are you on your way home yet?_

 _Cas: I am waiting_

 _Cas: Dean?_

()o()o()o()o()o()o()

 **Dean: Hey Cstel. Whts Up buddie!**

 _Cas: Dean? Are you trying to speak english? I know every language, but I am unfamiliar with this one_

 **Dean: brb, mree driking**

 _Cas: Are you intoxicated, Dean Winchester?_

 _Cas: What does brb mean? I do not understand_

 _Cas: Dean?_

 **Dean: M her! Am wtchin a mvie nd I thoghts abot u ;)**

 _Cas: I do not understand what is this ;)_

 **Dean: lol wnkie fece! U just wnked at meh ;)**

 _Cas: lol? Winkie face? You are silly when you are intoxicated Dean Winchester._

 _Cas: Smiley face._

()o()o()o()o()o()o()


	11. Chapter 11

**So as I said, This shall be a Sabriel Chapter. I personally**

 **don't really ship it, so all of these are from tumblr actually :P**

 **Mainly, because I wouldn't even know where to begin**

 **For this Chapter Sam shall be known as "Sammybear"**

 **Rated inbetween a T+ and an M for sexual themes because**

 **that's all Gabriel thinks about ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Sammybear: Just give me back my computer Gabriel, this isn't funny!_

 **Gabriel: Maybe if you talk dirty i'll think about it**

 _Sammybear: ….You're not serious. How about this, if you don't_

 _give me back my computer I'll cut you into pieces and bury_

 _you in a twenty foot grave. Dirty enough for you?_

 **Gabriel: Will you do it naked?**

 _Sammybear: Sure, Gabriel_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: You're just too good to be true**

 **Gabriel: Can't take my eyes off of you**

 **Gabriel: You would be like heaven to touch**

 _Sammybear: Yeah Gabriel, thats nice and all but I kinda got stuff to do, so_

 **Gabriel: You should always take time out of your day for a healthy**

 **dose of romance, Sam**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Sammy: Hey Dean, i'm going to the store. You need anything?_

 **Dean: Yeah, pie... Again... Cas ate the rest**

 _Sammy: You know, this is the fourth pie in the last three days_

 **Dean: Yeah, I know, dont remind me**

 _Sammy: Yeah fine, whatever_

 **Dean: Damn Cute Angel eating all the pie**

 **Dean: WAIT SAM DONT READ THAT**

_Sammy: Too late_

 **Dean: I meant cute**

 **Dean: *cute**

 **Dean: Goddammit**

 **Dean: C A S**

 _Sammy: Yeah, sure_

 **Dean: Sam, did you change his name in my phone again?**

 _Sammy: What? I didnt do anything, thats absurd_

 **Dean: Sammy! Dont lie to me! I'll call Gabriel.**

 _Sammy: I'm not lying, WAIT WHAT DOES GABRIEL HAVE TO DO_

 _WITH ANY OF THIS?! WHO TOLD YOU?!_

 **Dean: What? Nobody told me an...WAit**

 **Dean: ARE YOU AND GABE...**

 _Sammy: WHAT? NO! I HAVE TO GO GET YOUR PIE!_

 _Sammy: GOODBYE_

 **Dean: Oh this is great. Gabe is "Sammy's little Tree topper"**

 _Sammy: I hate you_

 **Dean: HAHHAHA wait till I tell Cas**

… **...**

 **Dean: Sam? Wheres the pie?**

 _Sammy: Umm... About that..._

 **Dean: Sam...Where is my pie**

 _Sammy: Dean, I dont have the pie_

 **Dean: How could you forget the pie? I hope making out with**

 **Gabe was worth it. Dick**

 _Sammy: What? Dean, how dd you-I GOT CAKE OKAY_

 _Sammy: SAME THING RIGHT?_

 **Dean: NO ITS NOT, LET ME GIVE YOU A HAIR CUT, LONG HAIR,**

 **SHORT HAIR ITS THE SAME THING RIGHT?**

 _Sammy: Look Dean, I am not going back, its an hour away. AND HELL_

 _KNOWS YOUR NOT TOUCHING MY HAIR_

 **Dean: …...You let Gabe touch your hair...**

 _Sammy: Yeah, he loves running his fingers through my hair, it turns_

 _him- NO I AM NOT EXPLAINING THIS_

 **Dean: Um...Gabe asked if you got the...British term for "erasers"**

 _Sammy: ...Yes I did_

 _Sammy: Large size_

 **Dean: Sammy**

 _Sammy: Dean_

 **Dean: Gabes not here, yah horn dog**

 _Sammy: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU_

 **Dean: HAHHA**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Sammybear: Hey Gabriel... Are you busy?_

 **Gabriel: I'm never busy when it comes to you Sammybear!**

 _Sammybear: Oh...uh great_

 **Gabriel: Something wrong?**

 _Sammybear: No nothings wrong.. I just.. okay heres the thing, I sorta lost a_

 _bet with Dean and he said I had to... ask someone in my_

 _phone book out on a date._

 _Sammybear: So can we go out on a date? Or should I ask someone else?_

 _It's not like this isn't embarrassing enough the first time._

 **Gabriel: Awwww Sam, you're so cute! How sweet of you to think of me first,**

 **you know how many people would love to ride that ass of yours?**

 _Sammybear: Haha very funny, do you want to go on a date or not?_

 **Gabriel: Absolutely! Tomorrow at 8, alright? I''ll take you somewhere classy**

 _Sammybear: That's fine... see you then ;)_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: Swiggity swoo, what's up with you?**

 _Sammybear: ..what?_

 **Gabriel: Swiggity swee, you didnt hear me?**

 _Sammybear: That dosent even make sense Gabriel,_

 _and i'm not "listening" to you._

 **Gabriel: Swiggity swirt, take off your shirt**

 _Sammybear: Those aren't even words_

 **Gabriel: Swiggity swants, take off your pants**

 _Sammybear: Stop it_

 **Gabriel: Swiggity swutt, lets see your butt**

 _Sammybear: Swiggity swam, I'll shoot you in the face_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: Hey there Sam, What are you doing all the way down here?**

 **Heaven's missing an angel ;)**

 _Sammybear: Haha, very funny Gabriel_

 **Gabriel: If I had a nickel for every time I saw an ass as nice as yours,**

 **I would have one nickel**

 _Sammybear: Yeah, alright, thats enough_

 **Gabriel: Come on Sammy, Whats a nice guy like you, doing**

 **in a dirty mind like mine?**

 _Sammybear: These are all really lame, Gabriel_

 **Gabriel: If another apocalypse happened, I couldnt think of anyone**

 **id rather spend it with then you.**

 _Sammybear: That one was kinda sweet, disturbing, but sweet._

 **Gabriel: Ugh, finally, I was running out of material. I'm**

 **naked, ill be over in five**

 _Sammybear: Ruined it_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: You're a lucky, lucky man, Winchester**

 _Sammybear: I would ask if it was because you lost my number, but_

 _apparently that would be too good to be true_

 **Gabriel: I love it when you talk dirty**

 **Gabriel: And it's because I just caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror**

 _Sammybear: Good for you_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: Hey Sexy, Lets say I come over and we have some**

 **nice dirty all American fun on your brothers bed, huh?**

 **Get him back for deedling my little bro.**

 _Dean-O: WHAT?_

 **Gabriel: What?**

 **Gabriel: Oh shit**

 _Dean-O: GABRIEL_

 **Gabriel: Abort mission!**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**


	12. Chapter 12

**Wow, Chapter 12 already. I know I already did this, but once again, Thank you all so much for the support and love, I am so happy that I could make you guys smile with these stupid little texts, seriously your guy's comments make me smile like a lunatic lol. I just went back and read all the texts, and I saw that I was so excited about getting a mere 100 views to my story haha, on 12/4/2016 at 2:13 pm I now have almost 4,000 views and 2/3 of them have read my texts. That's amazing, I know it might not seem like a lot to most of you, and your right now your probably yelling at your screen going "get on with the freaking texts already, I don't care about this stupid talky bit" and that's fine, I do the same thing haha, but for the people who aren't thinking that, here's a cookie for listening to me ramble and talk *gives cookie to you*. Let's just get on with the texts already, no one cares about this crap above them, does anyone even read these things? I doubt it, I'm talking to myself right now, ain't it? Okay I'm rambling ill stop. Lets get on with the texts! No theme for this one, just whatever I feel like. Oh, and an extra long chapter for making you guys wait so long!**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Dean: You cant be mad at me forever.**

 _Cas: Of course not Dean, that would be near impossible. I can, however, be_

 _mad until you die. That is much more possible._

 **Dean: Woah, dark much... You shouldnt even be mad, you should be flattered.**

 _Cas: She was 'undressing you with her eyes', Dean_

 **Dean: She just asked me if I wanted dessert**

 _Cas: That was not her place_

 **Dean: She was our WAITRESS, it actually WAS her place**

 _Cas: Only I am allowed to give you special dessert, Dean._

 **Dean: Cas, your being ridiculous, she wasn't asking if I wanted THAT**

 **kind of dessert**

 _Cas: Her 'dessert' was too young for you anyway_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Cas: Dean, I think it is time for a cheeseburger, please bring me one_

 **Dean: What the hell do I look like to you Cas? Your damn butler? Get your own food.**

 _Cas: Dean it is customary for you to retrieve frivolous thing for the person_

 _that you care for. You seem unaware of this._

 **Dean: Cas, I got enough shit to concentrate on, im not getting**

 **you a burger, your capable of feathery ass up and walking to the kitchen**

 _Cas: But Dean... you must nourish me._

 **Dean: What? Like right now? I dont know man, Sammy's here, you know how he gets when we do that when he's home.**

 _Cas: No Dean, I mean with a burger... I am eating for two_

 _Cas: I am pregnant Dean. I was waiting to tell you. I believe the baby_

 _would like White Castle_

 **Dean: Okay, first of all, Cas. You might be an angel, but your in a dudes body.**

 **You're not pregnant. Second, even if you were, and your not, I wouldn't be**

 **getting you White Castle. And last of all, maybe if I got that pie you ate,**

 **you would have a burger right now**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Sammy: Dean, dont freak out_

 **Dean: Sam, just tell me what happened, its too early for this crap.**

 _Sammy: It's not a big deal, I just think you should know_

 **Dean: Get on with it, What happened? You clean out the fridge again?**

 **Because that pie was still good, its only been like a week**

 _Sammy: It's been six weeks actually, but no that's not it_

 _Sammy: Castiel did the laundry for us_

 **Dean: ...Okay? ...and?**

 _Sammy: It was ... your laundry.._

 _Sammy: Your Zepplin shirt, it's... um...pink. I'm sorry Dean_

 _Sammy: Dean?_

 _Sammy: Dean? Come on answer me_

 **Dean: WHATS THE POINT IN LIVING ANYMORE, SAMMY?**

 **JUST LEAVE ME ALONE**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Cas: You should come to my bedroom, Dean_

 **Dean: Should I?**

 _Cas: Yes. I am feeling physical urges that only your body can fulfill_

 **Dean: Heh, dirty. Im out right now, think you can wait?**

 _Cas: I can try, but I can not guarantee that I will succeed_

 **Dean: Aw come on, you cant tease me like that**

 _Cas: I thought you liked to be teased_

 **Dean: You know I do**

 _Cas: Good. Then hurry back so we can have sex with the butts._

 **Dean: ..You were so close, Cas. So close.**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Sammybear: Hey Gabriel, you know about gods, right? Dean_

 _and I are having trouble figuring out whats going on around here._

 _I think its a Greek god, I just don't know which one_

 **Gabriel: Asking for favors now, are we Sam? How convenient**

 _Sammybear: Whats that supposed to mean?_

 **Gabriel: When YOU want to talk suddenly were all chatty, but when I**

 **want to talk its just "No Gabriel, stop it, I dont want to be naked"**

 _Sammybear: Can you act like an adult for two seconds please? This is serious._

 **Gabriel: Fine, tell me whats going on**

 _Sammybear: Thank you. We keep finding dismembered body parts, everything_

 _other then the head and the right hand. DO you know anyone who could be_

 _that specific? I was thinking maybe a sacrifice but I dont know..._

 **Gabriel: Uranus**

 _Sammybear: The god of the sky?_

 **Gabriel: Oh sorry. I was still talking about wanting to see you naked**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Dean: Hey I need you out here. This job is a little complicated then I thought**

 _Sammy: I can't_

 **Dean: What do you mean you cant?**

_Sammy: Sorry, I didnt mean to use big words, Dean. Can't means cannot_

 **Dean: Dont be a dick, I know for a fact your not busy.**

 **Get your ass out here**

 _Sammy: I'm busy_

 **Dean: With what? A date?**

 _Sammy: Yes actually_

 **Dean: With who, Gabe again?**

 **Dean: ….**

 **Dean: Ah yep, its Gabe**

 **Dean: Im gonna kill you Sam**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Castiel: I believe I am making progress in my understanding of idioms,_

 _jokes and 'puns'_

 **Gabriel : So far you've failed**

 _Castiel: Allow me to demonstrate_

 **Gabriel : Please no**

 _Castiel: I do not wish to make peanut butter from scratch; that's just nuts_

 _Castiel: Was that sufficient?_

 **Gabriel : Have to go... Murder... Ask Sam or Dean**

 _Castiel: Okay, I will keep you updated_

 _Castiel: I told Dean. He got up and left the room. I do not understand why_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Dean: Sammy, don't come home yet, the lights are flickering.**

 **Its probably a demon**

 _Sammy: No Dean, It isn't a demon. You still need to fix the wiring, remember?_

 **Dean: You know what, I'm gonna fix the wiring right now and prove to you**

 **that it isn't a demon!**

 _Sammy: You go do that then_

 _Sammy: So?_

 **Dean: ...don't talk to me**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _?: Hey baby_

 **Dean: ...Cas?**

 _?: It's late. I cant stop thinking about that cute little ass of yours_

 **Dean: ... Castiel, have you been drinking again?**

 _?: No, I just miss you._

 **Dean: I miss you too, Cas.. I'll be home soon, alright?**

 _?: And your gun ;)_

 **Dean: ...Who is this?**

 _?: I also miss your girly face._

 _?: And your pouty lips._

 _?: And your pretty boy hair_

 **Dean: Hi, Gabriel**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Dean: Hey Sammy, have you seen my black leather jacket?**

 **Dean: Nvm. Cas is wearing it around pretending like hes in the matrix. I knew**

 **I shouldn't have let him see that movie.**

 _Sammy: I'm surprised its even possible for him to take that trench_

 _coat off anymore._

 **Dean: Oh, he takes it off alright ;)**

 _Sammy: Jesus Christ, Dean_

 **Dean: Thats what he says ;)**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Dean: Cas, where are you?**

 _Cas: You shall never find me, Dean_

 **Dean: Are you in the closet, looking for Narnia again?**

 _Cas: Bitch I might be_

 **Dean: What?**

 _Cas: He doooo_

 **Dean: whats going on**

 _Cas: My wolf name is Moon Moon_

 _Cas: On Wednesdays I wear pink_

 **Dean: you okay?**

 _Cas: What is air?_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _Cas: Hey, Dean_

 _Cas: I learned something_

 **Dean: YOU BETTER NOT TYPE THE LYRICS TO ANNOYING**

 **SONGS AGAIN**

 _Cas: Does he have the booty?_

 **Dean: WHAT DID I JUST SAY**

 **Dean: Gotta be honest Cas, I never pegged you to be the hip hop/rnb type**

 _Cas: What I ment to say was 'Do he got the booty'_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**


	13. Chapter 13

**Next Chapter will be all about Christmas, since it is that time of the year.**

 **Lots of Destiel moments, Some Sabriel (because you guys love it), and the rest is**

 **Cas misunderstanding things, mainly. But for now, Chapter 13!**

 **Also introducing Group Chat!**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 **Cas: Can both of you see my message?**

 ** **Sam: Hey, Cas you figured out how to group chat!****

 ** _Dean: Son of a bitch_**

 ** _Cas: Dean, why are you sending explicits again. I have not_**

 ** _done anything this time_**

 ** _Dean: Sam, you know that hes not gonna stop now that he figured_**

 ** _out how to do this right?_**

 ** **Sam: Come on Dean, hes just excited.****

 **Cas: Would you two like to hear a joke?**

 ** **Sam: Sure, Cas****

 **Cas: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and has no**

 **concept of the dangers that come in accordance to avoiding vehicles.**

 ** _Dean: Aaaaaaand It has begun_**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **Sam: Hey, where are you guys right now? I might have a case****

 ** _Dean: I'm busy_**

 **Cas: As am I, Sam, my apologies**

 ** **Sam: What do you mean your busy? What are you both doing that's so important****

 ** _Dean: Uh... golfing? Is that how you say it? Or is it just golf? I'm golf_**

 **Cas: Yes, we are golf?**

 ** **Sam: Wait you two are together right now?****

 ** _Dean: No, why would we be together? That's ridiculous_**

 **Cas: Sam I am going to have to stop texting you, it is rather difficult to type**

 **and, as Dean puts it, get 'busy'**

 ** **Sam: This is the most disgusting thing i've ever been apart of.****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** _Dean: Cas?_**

 **Cas: Yes, Dean? Is everything alright?**

 ** _Dean: Course it is, I just wanted to let you know I love you and all_**

 **Cas: Well, thank you, Dean, I love you too.**

 **Cas: Dean?**

 **Cas: Are you still there?**

 **Cas: Dean?**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 **Cas: Dean? Can we go to Canada?**

 ** _Dean: What? No, Cas, were not driving to Canada_**

 **Cas: I do not understand**

 ** _Dean: What do you mean you dont understand? Why would we go to Canada?_**

 **Cas: What's wrong with Canada, Dean?**

 ** _Dean: Nothin's wrong with it, its just cold and far away_**

 **Cas: The leaves are changing color and it's quite beautiful**

 ** _Dean: I'm not driving all the way to Canada to see leaves_**

 **Cas: This weekend is also the Canadian Thanksgiving, and I am sure there will**

 **be a large assortment of foods and pies.**

 ** _Dean: I'm packed and in the car, where are you?_**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 **Cas: Hello space Dean, I space am space currently space heading space to space the space store space of space convience comma space is space there space anything space you space would space like space me space to space get space you space while space I space am space there question mark**

 ** _Dean: Cas... did...did Sam tell you how to use voice to text?_**

 **Cas: I space believe space that space is space what space it space is space called comma space its space really space cool period space All space I space have space to space do space is space say space what space I space want space to space write space and space it space sends space it space to space you period**

 ** _Dean: Yah Cas I know how it works.._**

 ** _Dean: You know you dont have to say space inbetween every word, right? It does it for you_**

 **Cas: But space if space I space do space not comma space how space will space it space know space when space the space word space I space am space saying space is space finished period**

 ** _Dean: It just does Cas. Try it_**

 **Cas: I cucumber red butter Ritalin beer**

 ** _Dean: What..? Cas.. stop... Just type_**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 **Cas: Dean**

 **Cas: Deeeaannn**

 **Cas: Whale you be my valentine?**

 ** _Dean: YOU WOKE ME UP TO DO THE FREAKIN WHALE THING?_**

 ** _Dean: SCREW YOU CAS  
_**

 ** _Dean: IM BLOCKING YOUR NUMBER_** **  
**

 **Cas: Dean**

 **Cas: Dean**

 **Cas: Deeeaaannn**

 **Cas: Don't be a Moby Dick**

 **Cas: I just wanted to ask if you whale be my valentine**

 **Cas: We could free each others willies**

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****

 ** **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()****


	14. Chapter 14

"On the fourth day of Christmas, Supernatural gave to me, four bags of salt:

On the fifth day of Christmas, Supernatural gave to me, five burnt ceilings:

On the sixth day of Christmas, Supernatural gave to me, six crazy fangirls:

On the seventh day of Christmas, Supernatur-"..

Oh umm... hi, didn't see you there. I imagine here to hear my amazing singing

... no? … your just here for the texts? ….. Fine, I see how it is.

If you couldn't tell this is a Christmas chapter! All about the Christmas season!

Sorry this Chapter came out a little bit later than I first planned on releasing it!

Real life stuffs got in the way. Anyway, If you don't celebrate Christmas..

well their still funny! But well Enjoy anyways :P and...

 _ **Merry Christmas and or Happy Holidays!**_

* * *

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Sammy: Hey, so what do you want for Christmas?**

 _ **Dean: Sam, It's not even Thanksgiving yet**_

 **Sammy: Yeah, I know, I was just wondering so I could**

 **get a good idea**

 _ **Dean: What is with you people?**_

 _ **Dean: Rushing our lives to get to one stupid holiday**_

 _ **Dean: decorating the crap out of everything you own to be**_

 _ **more 'festive'**_

 _ **Dean: And its not even Thanksgiving yet. At least wait until**_

 _ **after and THEN ask me**_

 **Sammy: So, just motor oil then?**

 _ **Dean: Yeah, I dunno what I want**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Cas: Dean, you do not need to worry about getting a decoration**

 **for the top of your tree**

 _ **Dean: Oh, did you find us one?**_

 **Cas: Sort of**

 _ **Dean: What do you mean, sort of?**_

 **Cas: I am afraid I will not be able to assist you on anymore**

 **hunts until the Christmas season is over.**

 _ **Dean: Cas, get off the tree.**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _ **Dean: Hey Cas, what do you think youll want for**_

 _ **Christmas?**_

 **Cas: Well I would like to spend Christmas with you and Sam,**

 **if that would be alright.**

 _ **Dean: Yeah, of course, Cas. I know that. I meant what do**_

 _ **you want present wise?**_

 **Cas: I did not know an object could have a level**

 **of intellect**

 _ **Dean: No, Cas. It cant**_

 _ **Dean: Lets try this again**_

 _ **Dean: Cas, what would you like me to get you as a**_

 _ **present for Christmas**_

 **Cas: Oh, well in that case, I do not need**

 **superficial things.**

 _ **Dean: That dosent help me, Cas**_

 _ **Dean: Come on you gotta want something? A**_ _ **gun?**_

 _ **A new phone? A watch? Come on anything?**_

 **Cas: You are the only present I would like for Christmas**

 _ **Dean: Then, that's exactly what you will get, Cas 3**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Cas: Dean**

 _ **Dean: Yeah, Cas?**_

 **Cas: I have boughten you a present for Christmas.**

 **Please do not look in the refrigerator.**

 _ **Dean: Is it pie?**_

 **Cas: How do you know, Dean? Did Sam tell you?**

 **Did you look in the refrigerator?**

 _ **Dean: I love you man. You know just the way**_

 _ **into a mans heart.**_

 **Cas: I do not understand, It is impossible to get inside**

 **the heart of a human, Dean**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _ **Gabriel: Hey Sammybear, got anything youd like**_

 _ **for Christmas?**_

 **Sammybear: Sammybear? Really Gabriel, that's the best**

 **you could come up with? You could've at least tried a**

 **little harder then that**

 _ **Gabriel: Aw, im sorry. I wouldn't want my little**_

 _ **Sammybear to be disappointed with the name I chose**_

 _ **for him. How about Sugar Lips?**_

 **Sammybear: Oh dear god, no definitely not.**

 _ **Gabriel: Aw I liked that one. Okay, how about**_

 _ **SammyWammy?**_

 **Sammybear: How about you call me Sam?**

 _ **Gabriel: Oh come on, thats just boring. It dosent**_

 _ **represent you or your sexy ass at all! Or even**_

 _ **your cute face.**_

 **Sammybear: Goodbye**

 _ **Gabriel: Jeez, a little harsh dont you think?**_

 _ **Gabriel: Aaandd you never answered my**_

 _ **question, btw.**_

 **Sammybear: Oh yeah. Christmas presents. You know**

 **what id like more then anything? Its something that only**

 **you can give me.**

 _ **Gabriel: Ohhhh! About time. I've been waiting for this**_

 _ **day for what seems like forever! The day that my**_

 _ **Sammybear admits hes got a thing for this sexy,**_

 _ **hilarious and all around just amazing Archangel!**_

 **Sammybear: Are you done yet?**

 **Sammybear: I want you to leave me alone**

 **Sammybear: That's what I want for Christmas. For you**

 **to leave me alone and stop texting me every single day.**

 _ **Gabriel: I think I can manage that, I will text you every**_

 _ **other day, instead of every day, just for my wonderful Sam.**_

 **Sammybear: No, Gabriel. I don't want you to text**

 **me, ever again.**

 _ **Gabriel: Aw, come on Sam! You know you love it**_

 _ **when I text you!**_

 _ **Gabriel: You cant deny it Sam. You can try and hide**_

 _ **it all you want, Its not gonna work.**_

 _ **Gabriel: ….**_

 _ **Gabriel: God, I love it when you play hard to get.**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Cas: Dean I believe I have been escorted to**

 **one of your 'jails'**

 _ **Dean: What the hell, Cas? What did**_

 _ **you do?**_

 **Cas: I am not sure, I went up to a hou** **se and the woman**

 **that lived there called the police.**

 _ **Dean: Cas, tell me what happened. What were you doing**_

 _ **at some woman's house?**_

 **Cas: I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit and be as**

 **you call it 'festive'**

 **Cas: I found some people that were singing, they looked 'festive'.**

 **So I went up to them and asked them what they were doing**

 **and how I could do it as well.**

 _ **Dean: And? What did he say?**_

 **Cas: The man replied with 'Were caroling, you go up to a**

 **random house and start singing'**

 **Cas: So I went up to a nicely decorated house and stood on**

 **the porch. Since you always knock on the door, instead of**

 **opening it that is what I did.**

 **Cas: A small female child opened the door so I started singing**

 **a song that I believe was called, something about 'big butts'. I**

 **suppose her mother had called the police because I she didnt**

 **look to happy at my 'carolling'. The police showed up while**

 **I was singing and brought me to one of these 'jails'**

 **Cas: I am not quite sure what happened, I did everything the**

 **man told me to. Perhaps I shouldnt have knocked on the door?**

 **Dean: Christmas songs, Cas. Not Sir mix a lot.**

 **Cas: Why are we talking about a person that like to mix**

 **things a lot?**

 _ **Dean: Ca**_ _ **s, listen, the reason they put you in ja**_ _ **il is because**_

 _ **you sang a about butts to a little kid!**_

 **Cas: I see. I think I understand now. But did I do 'caroling'**

 **correctly when I knocked on the door?**

 _ **Dean: Yeah, Cas. That was fine. But you dont just say**_

 _ **something like that to a little kid.**_

 **Cas: I was singing, Dean, not just speaking. I just wanted**

 **to make sure I did everything correctly for next time I**

 **do this 'caroling'**

 _ **Dean: Cas, just get your feathery ass back to the bunker.**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 _ **Dean: Cas, get down here man, its Christmas**_

 **Cas: I am celebrating Christmas in heaven with the other**

 **angels, Dean.**

 _ **Dean: Aw, come on man, iw would be just you and me,**_

 _ **frisky times, egg nog, and you would rather spend it up**_

 _ **there with those winged dicks?**_

 _ **Dean: Wait..**_

 _ **Dean: Angels celebrate Christmas?**_

 **Cas: Yes, indeed we do Dean. Except we do no celebrate**

 **with trees and presents. We celebrate the birth of Christ**

 _ **Dean: Ah okay. So does that mean your gonna skip having**_

 _ **Christmas with me?**_

 **Cas: I can not miss the celebration, Dean. It is the only time**

 **of the year where all angels come together as brothers and**

 **sisters despite everything that happened throughout the year.**

 _ **Dean: Sounds great and all, but im gonna miss my cute little**_

 _ **Angel on his Christmas**_

 **Cas: Well, maybe I could leave the celebration** **a bit early, I**

 **would much like to be there with you.**

 _ **Dean: If only I was an Angel, then we wouldn't have to be apart today.**_

 **Cas: Well I believe you are what is considered an 'angel' by**

 **the earthly definition of the word, but yes, you are far from**

 **an actual angel**

 _ **Dean: Aw Cas, your such a sweetheart. How long do you think**_

 _ **you'll make me wait?**_

 **Cas: Heavens celebration lasts more then one day, but**

 **the first days festivities end after sundown, I can be**

 **there then.**

 _ **Dean: Aw come on, thats the whole day!**_

 **Cas: Well some of the Angels are not here yet, I suppose I could**

 **come down there until everyone arrives and have as you**

 **call it 'frisky times'**

 _ **Dean: Sounds good, I think that will be enough to hold me**_

 _ **over till you get done ;)**_

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry im not updating these very fast. Real life stuffs has been gettting

the way, but im doing the best I can! Enjoy Chapter 15! Also,

Happy New Years Guys and Girls!

* * *

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Gabriel: Hey Cutie**

 **Sammybear: Hi Gabriel**

 **Gabriel: Heard you had a bad day, huh sugar lips?**

 **Sammybear: Thats not my name, but yeah.. pretty bad year actually.**

 **Gabriel: Well its a new year now and I happen to have a new resolution and Its getting you out of all the plaid.**

 **Sammybear: Smooth. Seriously, im melting.**

 **Gabriel: Come on Sam, stop playing hard to get. Come and get some angel cake.**

 **Gabriel: Isnt that your motto or something? Saving people, humping things, the family business?**

 **Sammybear: I honestly dont even know what to say to that.**

 **Gabriel: Close enough, ill be over in five.**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Sammy: Hey listen, I think I found something about that case.**

 **Sammy: You there? I keep calling and you wont pick up**

 **Dean: FUCKING  
**

 **Dean: YOU FUCKED ME UP SAM**

 **Sammy: Wow, chill, seriously. What happened?**

 **Dean: FLAPPY BIRD I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE I WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE TO MY HIGH SCORE WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL SAM IF I DON'T ANSWER THEN DON'T TEXT ME WHAT THE FUCK**

 **Sammy: Are you serious? You need to calm down**

 **Dean: DONTYOUTELLMETOCALMDOWN**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()o()**

 **Castiel: Hey, its Dean. Pick me up a new phone while your out**

 **Sam: Why?**

 **Castiel: WHY DO YOU THINK? I BROKE MINE**

 **Sam: How did you break it?**

 **Castiel: I THREW IT BECAUSE YOU MESSED ME UP**

 **Sam: ….Are you SERIOUS? How did you break your phone?**

 **Castiel: WALLS ARE HARDER THEN PHONES SAM THATS HOW  
**

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 **Dean: So what are angel reunions like anyways? Feather preening? Smiting competitions? Douchebag of the year award?**

 **Cas: Not exactly. And not all of my brothers and sisters are as you say, douchebags, Dean**

 **Dean: What? You have favorites?**

 **Cas: I had a particular fondness for some. Samandriel and Balthazar for example.**

 **Dean:... Didnt you kind of leave them to die? By means of murder?**

 **Cas: I am not the only one who does not always do right by their siblings, Dean**

 **Dean: Hey, I do the best I can for Sammy. Dont ever try and tell me otherwise**

 **Cas: Adam, Dean. I meant Adam.**

 **Dean: SON OF A BITCH**

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 **Crowley: Any chance I will get an invite to the festivities?**

 **Squirrel: Any chance hell is freezing over?**

 **Crowley: What if I ask nicely?**

 **Crowley: Please?**

 **Squirrel: Why do you even want to spend the holidays with a bunch of people who want you dead?**

 **Crowley: You act as though its any different if I spend the holiday in hell**

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 **Dean: So, I did a little research and its gonna take us about 34 hours to get to Maine from the bunker. Since we have extra time, maybe we could stop and see Cassie on the way?**

 **Sammy: I thought Cas was somewhere in California?**

 **Dean: No, Cassie the girl**

 **Sammy: Cas is a girl now? Dean. Did you pray reaaaaalllly hard?**

 **Dean: No. Hes not, stop being an ass**

 **Sammy: Its so cute, he chose a different vessel just for you!**

 **Dean: This isnt funny**

 **Sammy: Fly free, you beautiful unicorns!**

 **Dean: I WILL END YOU**

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 **Cas: Dean, I have a question**

 **Dean: Another one? Ugh, alright what is it this time?**

 **Cas: Sam was teaching me about sexual orientation and told me that you would elaborate greatly.**

 **Dean:...**

 **Cas: Dean? Are you still there?**

 **Dean: Hold on Cas. Ill be right back**

 **Cas: Where are you going, Dean?**

 **Dean: Im hunting a Moose**

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 **?: Dean?**

 **Dean: Who is this?**

 **?: I have to change your name in my phone, I always bloody forget which one you are, Anyways, Happy Valentines Day, darling.**

 **Dean: No, seriously, who is this?**

 **?: Ill give you one hint. Completely shaggable.**

 **Dean:... Crowley, why the hell are you texting me?**

 **The King of Douchebaggery: Look at you catching on love, wonderful! I was worried you would be too pretty for that one. I thought perhaps you would be willing to call a truce for the day, hmm?**

 **The King of Douchebaggery: Maybe go out to a nice restaurant, wine, music...**

 **Squirrel: Thats not even funny, leave me alone, im not interested.**

 **The King of Douchebaggery: Says the bloke who recognized me after I used the term, 'completely shaggable'**

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	16. Chapter 16

About time chapter 16 is going up, huh? Sorry I've gone so long, with the end of the semester, I have been really busy with school work, but I have returned to make another chapter! I didn't get around to doing requests this chapter because as I stated, I have been busy with school. Trying out a little bit of a new format for the texts this time,trying to make it look more like actual texts lol but fanfiction dosen't allow things known as spaces, so let me know what you guys think, whether you like it better, or want me to go back to how it was. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 _Cas_ – Dean, where are you?

I'm at the bar – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Alone? Why did you not invite me?

Im with Benny – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Is he new?

 _Cas_ – Do I know him?

 _Cas_ – Do you love him?

Easy there Cas – _Dean_

Just having a few beers – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Yes, okay

 _Cas_ – Who else are you with?

Just Benny – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Oh I see what's going on

 _Cas_ – FINE DEAN FINE

 _Cas_ – JUST LEAVE ME HERE AND GO OFF WITH BENNY

 _Cas_ **–** ITS NOT LIKE WE HAVE A PROFOUND BOND ANYWAY

Cas, take it down a notch. Were just catching up – _Dean_

Nothing's going on, I swear – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – YOUR BOND WITH HIM WILL NEVER BE AS PROFOUND AS THE ONE YOU SHARE WITH ME

 _Cas_ – IV'E SEEN HOW UGLY AND DISFIGURED YOUR SOUL IS

 _Cas_ – I FOUND A BLADE OF GRASS THAT MATCHES YOUR EYES

 _Cas_ – I KNOW HOW MANY FRECKLES THERE ARE ON YOUR FACE

NOTHING IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND BENNY, CAS. CALM DOWN – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – 197

What? - _Dean_

 _Cas_ – YOU HAVE 197 FRECKLES ON YOUR FACE

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 _Gabriel_ – Hey Sam, its opposite day. Will you sleep with me?

Nice try Gabriel. If I say no you'll say it means yes, if I say yes it means I said yes. I was 12 once too you know – _Sammybear_

 _Gabriel_ – So you mean, great attempt Gabriel, of course ill sleep with you

No, thats not at all what I ment – _Sammybear_

 _Gabriel_ – Best opposite day ever

I'm serious, i'm not sleeping with you, leave me alone – _Sammybear_

 _Gabriel_ – Jeez Sam, coming on a little strong, aren't we? Yes you can sleep with me. I'll be right over

So your not coming over? Oh too bad. - _Sammybear_

 _Gabriel_ – Wait, what?

 _Gabriel_ – Dammit, foiled again

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 _Dean_ – Hahahahahahaha

What's so funny, Dean? - _Cas_

 _Dean_ – That was a good burger

Of course, Dean. All burgers are good by nature – _Cas_

 _Dean_ – Yeah but you were right, Cas

 _Dean_ – Your burger was amazing

My burger? - _Cas_

You ate my burger?! - _Cas_

 _Dean_ – Yep I did

The one I labelled "THIS IS CASTIEL'S BURGER NOT YOURS, BACK OFF OR I WILL SMITE YOU DEAN WINCHESTER"? - _Cas_

 _Dean_ – Yeah, I think thats what it said. All I saw was a burger with my name on it.

YOU ATE MY BURGER?! – _Cas_

 _Dean_ – Cas, We've been over this part already

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, DEAN? - _Cas_

 _Dean_ – Hahaahah

I should've left you in hell – _Cas_

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 _Cas_ – Dean, do you need anything from the store of convenience before I go?

Your going to the store? That's pretty far, Cas, and you can't just poof in – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – I am not poofing, as you call it, I am going to attempt driving the car.

…What car? - _Dean_

 _Cas_ – The one that you drive. I have watched you drive and I believe I am capable of doing it.

Castiel, I swear to god, don't you touch my car! - _Dean_

 _Cas_ – I cannot message you any longer, Dean. It is unwise to 'text and drive'

DONT TOUCH MY CAR CAS I SWEAR TO GOD ILL DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU – _Dean_

CAS – _Dean_

Well, looks like Cas is short for castrate _– Dean_

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 _Sammy_ – Hey, remember that waitress down at the diner? I just got her number.

What the hell! Since when do you get more action then me? Whats going on here? - _Dean_

 _Sammy_ – I am getting more action then you. Dont forget Castiel's kiss with Meg.

That didnt count – _Dean_

 _Sammy_ – Of course it counted, what do you mean it didnt count?

It was stupid, he didnt even like it. He just did it because he saw it on tv – _Dean_

 _Sammy_ – He still kissed her

Whatever – _Dean_

She's gross anyway – _Dean_

I dont even care – _Dean_

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 _666_ – Saaaaaammmmm

 _666_ – Pay attention to me. I'm boooorrreeeddd

 _666_ – C'mon you stubborn moose

 _666_ – You cant ignore me forever, Sam

Stop texting me. - _Sam_

 _666_ \- ….

 _666_ – He texted back!

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 _Dean_ – Can we please at least talk about this?

There's nothing to talk about, Dean – _Sammy_

 _Dean_ – Seriously man, this is getting out of control! Your out of control. I feel like I don't even know you anymore, I don't know what to do.

Then don't do anything. Its none of your business anyway. It's not hurting anyone – _Sammy_

 _Dean_ – It is hurting someone! Its hurting me. This damn thing is killing me

You're being ridiculous – _Sammy_

 _Dean_ – You have a problem, Sammy. Let me help you!

For the last time, I'm not getting a freaking hair cut! - _Sammy_

 _Dean_ – This thing is an addiction, Sam!

NO ITS NOT, I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT TO – _Sammy_

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 _Cas_ – Dean, I am messaging you to say goodbye

What? Where are you going? - _Dean_

 _Cas_ – I am not long for the mortal world

Cas, what where are you? - _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Everything is getting dark, Dean... I cannot breathe

Just hold on, okay. Im almost home, just hold on – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – I cannot last much longer... my nose is sore and my crave for iced cream is overwhelming

...Ar..Are **–** _Dean_

Are you fucking SICK? You caught Sam's cold didnt you? - _Dean_

I AM GOING TO KILL YOU – _Dean_

 _Cas_ – Dean, you seem upset. I can tell that you also have this murderous 'cold'. Do no worry. We will get through this together.

I hate you – _Dean_

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	17. Chapter 17

Ya'll excited I'm back after a month and a bit? I know I am. Chapter 17 here we go! Enjoy!

* * *

Gabriel – Hey, Sammybear whatcha doing? I'm awfully bored, thought I might drop by for a bit if your brothers not there, if you know what I mean.

Hi, Gabriel, you know, there's a reason I stopped talking to you – Sammybear

Gabriel – I got you to reply though, didn't I?

I replied because I have something to tell you – Sammybear

Gabriel – Does it end with me getting those clothes off of you?

I love you Gabriel, and I miss you – Sammybear

Gabriel – I always knew you would admit it one day, Sam. It was only a matter of time before you finally gave in and accepted your true feelings. I'll be right over, don't worry ;)

Yeah, about that – Sammybear

April Fools, Dumbass. Did you really think I actually felt that way? – Sammybear

I just wanted to get your hopes up and make you think I cared – Sammybear

Gabriel – Still counts... ;P

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Dean – Where'd my little angel go? Its three in the morning.

Sorry Dean, I have some business I need to attend to up in heaven. Did you see the note I left you on the microwave? – Cas

Dean – Yeah, Cas. When I woke up at three in the morning and saw that you left me, the first thing I did was get out of bed to go check the microwave.

So, you saw it then? – Cas

Dean – -_-

Dean – Goodnight Cas

Does that mean you saw my message? – Cas

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Sammy – I'm heading out for a bit, don't text me unless something happens

Wasn't planning on it – Dean

Sammy – What did I just say?

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Sammy – Dean, are you awake? I found us a lead

Sammy – I'll take that as a no

Sammy – Dean, this is important, answer your phone

Sammy – Really? How long were you up last night?

Sammy – Dean

Sammy – I'm gonna pick up some more beer, want anything special?

Sammy – Cas is in trouble..

Sammy – There's that great new diner in town... you wanna check it out?

Sammy – …...

Sammy – They have pie

Meet you there in 5 – Dean

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Dean – Sam's out doing research. I think i'm supposed to be doing that too. Anways, I'm bored, what are you up too?

I am laying in bed, Dean – Cas

Dean - Mmm... Just laying in bed? Nothing else...?

I am eating what you call cereal – Cas

Dean – Nice

Dean – What would you do if I was in bed next to you?

I would eat my cereal – Cas

Dean – Ha, I meant if the cereal wasn't there

If I did not have any cereal, then I would get out of bed and go get some cereal – Cas

Dean? Are you still there? - Cas

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Gabriel – Hey Sugar Lips, what has four arms, four legs, but only one set of lips?

Gabriel – You and me at the summer carnival

See Gabriel, I don't know if your trying to flirt, or if you actually want to remove my lips. - Sammybear

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Crowley – So, you and the angel, hmm?

My personal life is none of your damn business, Crowley – Not Moose

Crowley – Calm down, brute. All i'm saying is that i'm not exactly surprised

What the hell is that supposed to mean? – Not Moose

Crowley – It's just that you Winchesters seem to take a liking to having ethereal beings inside of you.

Don't be gross, Crowley – Not Moose

Crowley – I'm not being gross, i'm being honest. I mean look at your brother

What about Sam? - Not Moose

Crowley – Come on Squirrel, Sam has had more mythical creatures in him then the bloody Odyssey.

You tell him I laughed at that, you're dead – Not Moose

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Cas – I am on my way home

Awesome, pick me up some pie, would yah? - Dean

Cas – I am on my way home

Cas – I am on my way home

Uh – Dean

Cas – I am on my way home

Cas – I am on my way home

Cas – I am on my way home

Cas – I am on my way home

Cas – I am on my way home

Hey Cas, are you.. uh... on your way home? - Dean

Cas – No, I am not Dean. Why do you ask?

No.. real reason... - Dean

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Dean – Come, on man. I wasn't the drunk was I?

Dude, in Walmart, when the intercom thing came on you dropped to your knees and shouted "The lord has spoken" - Sammy

Dean - ...Awesome

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	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18, here we go! Sorry if the format's a bit off, I'm uploading this on my phone

So it might not be perfect! Anyway Enjoy!

* * *

Cas - Hello Dean. I require your assistance.

Course Cas, what's up? - Dean

Cas - I was wondering if you knew what the letters IDK, ILY, and TTYL meant when

Put together like that.

I don't know, love you, talk to you later - Dean

Cas - Alright, I will ask Sam

* * *

Sammy - Are you awake?

Sammy - Did you get those case files yet?

Sammy - I'm heading over to Bobby's

Sammy - Cas and I are heading to Canada about that hunt.

Sammy - I hear they have the best pie in the world. I'll pick you up a few

Of them while we're there.

Your the best brother in the world. Can you make it 10? - Dean

Oh, I want 2 of them blueberry, 3 pecan, 2 apple, and surprise me on the last three - Dean

Sammy - I'm not actually picking you up pie. I just wanted to make sure you were getting my texts

That was cruel - Dean

* * *

Dean - Bobby, why the hell aren't you answering?

I dropped my damn phone, I can't find it. I'll text yah when I do - Bobby

Dean - Alright

Dean - Did you find it yet?

No, yah idgit - Bobby

Dean - Okay, let me know when you do

* * *

Dean - Hey Sam, enjoying your burger?

Yeah, where'd you go? I came back to the bunker, but you weren't there - Sammy

Dean - That's not important

Dean - What does the burger taste like?

It tastes like a burger, Dean. Where are you going with this? - Sammy

Dean - And?

And what? - Sammy

... - Sammy

DID YOU LICK THIS?! - Sammy

Dean - LIKE A LOLLIPOP!

Dean - HAHAHAAHA

* * *

Cas - Me and Sam are in Canada on a hunt. I wanted to send you an image of this. It kind of reminds me of heaven. _-Image Sent-_

 _-Image Received- G_ lad to hear that your vessel reminds you of heaven, i guess - Dean

Cas - What are you talking about Dean? Did you see the image i sent?

Yeah Cas, your fingers covering the lense, i can't see it - Dean

Cas - My apologizes Dean, can you see it now? _-Image Sent-_

 _-Image Received-_ You, can't just send the same picture, you gotta take another one - Dean

Cas - Is this better? _-Image Sent-_

 _-Image Received-_ Looks great, Cas... - Dean

* * *

Dean - Sammy, i'm coming out.

Wow Dean... that's great... i mean i always knew you had a thing for Cas, but.. i never thought you would actually come clean about it - Sammy

Dean - I'm gonna kill you. IM NOT GAY. My fucking phone sent the message before i could finish it. I'm coming out TO OREGON TO HELP YOU WITH THE ALPHA

Haha, your phone did that, huh? I guess it realized it was time for you to quit the act. It knows you better then you do - Sammy

Dean - You know what, Sam? I'm not heading to Oregon. I hope that Alpha tears you to shreds. I cant believe you went that route.

Dean - ...

Dean - Wait, YOU ALWAYS KNEW?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Dean - SAMMY

* * *

Dean - So somebody has to speak it this girls mother. I call not it.

Dean, you cant call not it, that's not how this works. This woman's daughter turned into a werewolf and broke through the front door, show a little sympathy - Sammy

Dean - You don't want to do it either

...I did it last time. It's your turn.. - Sammy

* * *

Sammy - Where are you?

I went fishing with Cas - Dean

Sammy - Please don't tell me that's slang or sex!

It's not. We are fishing. Or well i am anyway, Cas is staring at bees - Dean

Sammy - I wanted to fish too...

* * *

Cas - Hello Dean.

Cas - I am having trouble adjusting to being human.

A little busy right now, what's up? - Dean

Cas - I am having difficulty with all of these new sensations. And sleep. Sleep is a very strange concept.

Yeah well, kinda goes with the territory - Dean

Cas - And i have all of these new urges

Uh, well yeah. That's normal too - Dean

Cas - I want to try everything, but i've learned so far that its better to experiment when you have other to do it with.

yeah, okay, uh good to know - Dean

Cas - And there's so many areas to explore. So many things to try. and i've found i very much enjoy it in public.

What the hell, Cas? TOO MUCH INFORMATION - Dean

Cas - I'm sorry, Dean. I'm just very excited about eating and going to restaurants with all the new people i'm meeting.

oh. OH. well that's ok then. yeah, all very normal - Dean

Cas - I'm glad to hear it, Dean

Cas - Oh, and i'm also enjoying having sex with all of these people

...Dammit Cas - Dean


	19. Chapter 19

Can you believe we've made it 19 chapters already? I sure can't. And I have no intentions of quitting anytime soon. Well hopefully not anyway. **Possible M rating for this chapter maybe, I don't know how sensitive fanfiction is and I don't want to take any chances so yeah.** Anyway, Since the next chapter is going to be chapter 20, I will be doing an all requests chapter! I already have a few, but if you have any at all, or any more to the people who already gave me one or two, please comment them or message me! I'll be writing every request I receive, and if I don't have enough the rest of the chapter will be filled with random stuffs. But as always hope you guys enjoy!... p.s, to the person who said I didn't have enough puns, just you wait till the next chapter... This will be on you...

Dean – Just play along okay?

Alright Dean, I think I understand now – Cas

Dean – Alright, good.

Dean – Cas?

Yes, Dean? - Cas

Dean – Start

My apologizes, I will start – Cas

Alright – Cas

Dean – Alright cool

You should come over – Cas

Dean – I can't, my car only has three wheels

Do you have a tricycle, Dean? - Cas

Dean – Dammit Cas.. you were supposed to say "but i'm alone"

I'm sorry, I was distracted by your tricycle – Cas

Dean – I don't have a tricycle! Let's just start over, okay?

Alright – Cas

You should come over – Cas

Dean – I can't, my car only has three wheels

What color is your tricycle, Dean? - Cas

Dean – Screw you.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 **(Kate's just a random girl that Sam was hitting it off with. I feel bad for Sam)**

Kate – Haha, that's awesome, what was your major?

Ah, I was studying to be a lawyer – Sam

What are you taking? - Sam

Kate – Biology, I'm studying to be a pedestrian.

A what? Haha – Sam

Kate – Haha, you know a doctor for children

You mean a pediatrician? - Sam

Kate – Haha, yeah I guess so

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Gabe – Hey, love you babe

Yeah, I love you too Gabe – Sammybear

Gabe – No, seriously I can't stop thinking about you. My heart actually starts hurting when your not with me. I can't stop listening to these crappy love songs that remind me of us.

Fine. I get it. You want a sandwich – Sammybear

Gabe - ;) This is why I love you Sammybear

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Cas – Sam, I won't be able to meet you at the bunker till the morning

Cas – Don't forget to lock your brother in the shed overnight.

Cas – Please let me know if you need anything

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Dean – Sammy, it's Dean. This is my new number, make sure not to save my name as anything sketchy like Cas did. I swear did you tell him to do that?

Why would I do either of those things? That doesn't make any sense, Dean – Sammy

Not My Drug Dealer – Alright, thanks man. Just checking

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Cas – Dean, I made you lightly fried fish fillets for breakfast.

What the hell, Cas? Its 2:45 am – Dean

Cas – Would you like the lightly fried fish fillets or not?

Well, I mean yeah – Dean

Cas – I imagined you would. Come into the kitchen and get some lightly fried fish fillets, please. Their still hot.

Wait what? Did you just make them? - Dean

Cas – Yes Dean, I do not require sleep. I got bored waiting for you to wake up so I decided to make some lightly fried fish fillets.

Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time, Cas – Dean

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 **(I apologize in advance, I feel bad for what I've done)**

Cas – Dean? Is Sam alright. I heard he got in a car accident on a hunt. Did he need to go to the hospital?

No he didn't, he's alright now for the most part, I'm taking care of him. He's had much worse – Dean

He had to take the deep penis – Dean

Cas – Umm, what?

What the fuck autocorrect? I had to inject him with an EPIC PENIS – Dean

I swear to fucking chuck i'm not writing that! - Dean

Cas – I severely hope not.

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Dean – I'm not doing it again. I love drunk Dean. He gets shit done. I even made lunch for today. No idea what's in it but that's not the point. The important thing is I made it.

Yeah? And what did drunk Dean make for lunch – Sammy

Dean – Hold on, let me look

And? - Sammy

Dean – It's empty.

Dean – Drunk Dean is a moron

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Cas – Hello, Dean. I messaging you to let you know that you left your phone at the bunker.

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Dean – So, me and Cas went fishing today. And guess what happened?

What happened? - Sammy

Dean – I was jizzed on... Yes... EJACULATED ON by about a 14 cod fish... in one day. I feel taken advantage of, and violated.

Hahahahahaahahaaha – Sammy

Dean – Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Luckily it didn't get on my skin because i'm wearing like ten million layers. But its fucking gross. It comes out in a non-stop stream. I don't even know what to say. I just took it. Like a whore. Like a marine biologist whore.

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	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry I took so long! End of the school year was hectic, but now that it is summer, expect more frequent chapters and other stories going up on my account. As promised, this is a requests chapter! Requests I've received are in here. Thank you for your suggestions and I hope they are too everyone's liking :)**

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 **Rimeko wanted alcohol so here is a text about beer, I guess.**

Dean – Castiel

Dean – Cas

Dean – Mind telling me where all the beer went?

Uhm, I do not know – Cas

Dean – You sure? Me and Sam were out all day and we had

two full 12 packs when we left

I found a movie and I think you should come to our

room so we can watch it together – Cas

Dean – Don't change the subject, Cas. Beer doesn't just vanish

Are you sure? - Cas

Dean – Do you have a confession to make?

Yes. I might of ate your pie as well – Cas

Dean – MY PIE?! YOUR DEAD CAS. DEAD

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 **You-could-in-new-hamsphire requested a text from an image.**

Dean – Me and Sam could use a little help on this case, think you could drop in? We're on our way to some old farm house

Yes – Cas

Dean – Awesome, now would be nice

I am unsure – Cas

Dean – Of what? You don't know if you could drop in? It's just for a few minutes.

I shall attempt – Cas

Dean – CAS SOMETHING JUST ROLLED OVER THE IMPALA WAS THAT YOU

I am afrad I canot heialp yuh daen – Cas

Dean – What the hell happened? Are you okay?

You fond a liqor stor – Cas

Dean – Are you drunk?

No. Whi wud u say thit? – Cas

Dean – Call it a hunch

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 **You-could-in-new-hampshire requested a Destiel moment.**

Cas – Dean I have something to tell you.

What is it? - Dean

Cas – I ship Destiel

Whats Destiel? - Dean

Cas – I am not speaking in tongues, Dean. The formula is simple. Dean + Cas = Destiel.

Cas – Ship is the shortened version of relationship.

Cas – In Fanfiction, we can be all sorts of things. Young, old, demons, werewolves, pie, mermaids, and some other things. Sometimes we are in alternate universe, sometimes we're really young and sometimes I am a bee and you are my honey.

Cas – Sometimes we also engage in exotic sexual intercourse which I do not understand but am curious to try.

Cas – Dean?

Cas – Are you still there Dean?

SO YOU RELATIONSHIP US – Dean

Cas - Yes, that is correct.

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 **You-could-in-new-hampshire requested Dean discovering fanfiction**

Dean – Hey, Cas, do you got a moment to talk?

Of course, Dean. Is something wrong? - Cas

Dean – yeah, sort of. So I was looking online and I found this site. Its called Fanfiction. And I found some things about me and you, so I read some of them.

I understand. Continue, Dean – Cas

Dean – Well, there was this one story in particular, I'm not really why they know all of this, but they brought up a lot of points and certain things that you've done. I.. I guess I just need to know that you care about me.

From what you have told me, I would not believe the things you have read would be

considered 'good' – Cas

Dean – No, not at all

You mentioned that they knew a lot, but from what I can tell, its seems as though they know very little. I do not know understand why you would listen to them – Cas

Dean – I don't know, I guess they just got me thinking. I know I shouldn't but I guess I do.

In order to understand what exactly you are thinking, I will need to read what you read for myself. But I can come to a conclusion about it, as you stated you feel as though I do not care about you – Cas

Dean – I never said you didn't, just that you've been gone a lot recently and we haven't seemed to exactly be 'close'

I do care about you, Dean. You are all that matters. Do not forget this. I am sorry I made you feel differently. - Cas

Dean – Promise me something

Anything, Dean. What is it? - Cas

Dean – That you won't leave me alone. That you'll always be there.

I promise - Cas

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 **CactusJuice7 requested more Sabriel**

Gabriel – Hey there

Oh god, what now? - Sammybear

Gabriel - Nothing! I'm just saying hi

Hi – Sammybear

Gabriel – Hey

Gabriel – You know, I was thinking about you

Gabriel – I wanted to know if you wanted to catch a movie or something. Nothing dirty I promise. Just a movie

..Are you serious right now? - Sammybear

Gabriel – Yeah I mean, I just want to spend some time with you. Its that's acceptable to the great Moose Winchester.

Very funny, ill be ready in an hour – Sammybear

Gabriel – Holy shit!? Really!? My god, it must be Christmas!

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Gabriel – Hey Sam, tell me something. Am I friend-zoned?

No, Gabriel – Sammybear

Gabriel – Really? Cause despite all my efforts we haven't boned yet.

I'm sure Gabriel. In order to be in friend-zoned I would first have to consider you my

friend. - Sammybear

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 **Angel Of The HoneyBees requested more Bobby texts**

Crowley – I'll get you back down here, just you wait darling.

I don't know what I'm surprised about, the fact that our textin me or the fact that I get reception up here. - Bobby

Crowley – I don't like when thing one and thing two take my things, Robert. And they do it a lot.

Alright listen, first of all. I ain't one of your things. Second of all, you're complainin to the wrong person. - Bobby

Crowley – *complaining. Honestly, Robert, I wouldn't waste my time with you if you weren't so pretty.

And I wouldn't waste my time with you ever. This conversation is over.

You don't miss me even a little? Even after our late night snuggle session?

Shut up – Bobby

Crowley – I love it when you try to get all bossy.

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 **And those are the requests! On to regular stuffs**

Gabriel – Are you up?

Gabriel – I miss you.

Gabriel – And its cold, I wish we could cuddle.

Oh trust me if I was there, I would warm you right up... by setting you on fire – Sammybear

Goodnight – Sammybear

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Dean – Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

As far as I know, that isn't written anywhere on me – Cas

Dean - You're like the Impala. I wanna ride you all night

I'm not a vehicle, Dean – Cas

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	21. Chapter 21

**Most of these are auto correct fails. Enjoy :)**

Dean – Good News Cas, Sam is homosexual

I don't see how that is neither good or bad news – Cas

Dean – Homo hot lips

Dean – Hot tulips

Dean – I am getting fisted now

Dean – Frustrated

Dean – SAM IS HOME

Dean – FROM HOSPITAL

Oh, in that case, that is good news – Cas

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Sammy – How's you and Cas's camping trip going?

It sucks, I have the worst cell reception and this Mexican has been

cumming in my ear for the last 20 minutes – Dean

Sammy – Umm

Oh my lord. Mosquito. Cumming – Dean

BUZZING – Dean

Clearly, I write "cumming" more the "buzzing" - Dean

Sammy – I see that

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Castiel – Me and Dean are fighting

Again? - Sam

Castiel – Yes. I think this is it this time. He just drove off with his mother's corpse.

WITH HER CORPSE?! - Sam

Castiel – My apologies Sam, with her car.

Jesus christ, Cas. You almost gave me a heart attack – Sam

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Dean – You looked so good in those glasses today.

You think so? - Cas

Dean – Mhm. Yes. You know what else I think is really sexy? Boyscouts.

Dean, I believe that is illegal. Also very wrong, as most 'boyscouts' are young boys.

Please refrain from finding them 'sexy', Dean - Cas

Dean – SHIT CRAP NO BOYSHORTS NOT BOYSCOUTS!

Dean – DAMN THIS PIECE OF SHIT PHONE

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Sammy – Are you and Cas at the bunker?

Yep – Dean

Sammy – What are you doing?

Cas wanted to try playing the Wii. I'm licking his ass – Dean

Sammy – Dean, how many times have I told you, I do not need to know this.

KICKING DAMMIT – Dean

Sammy – Right

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Cas – Dean, these human feelings are difficult for me.

I need something to provide nutrition. I believe I am what is called 'hungry'

Come over! I've got some tasty stuff in my pants – Dean

Cas – Uhm well yes Dean, but that was not what I meant.

Haha, I meant pantry. But you can come over for that too if you want – Dean

Cas – Food will be sufficient.

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? - Man I cant get over how cheap green beans are!

Who is this? What green beans? - Dean

? - Like from the store..

What store? Who is this? - Dean

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Gabriel – So, When do I get to see that sweet ass of yours?

Let's do a bit of roleplay first. Be a bank owner, ill be a robber – Sammybear

Gabriel – Hm alright, I like where your going with this. How can I help you?

Do you happen to be a bank? - Sammybear

Gabriel – Why yes

Then leave me a loan – Sammybear

Gabriel - wait what

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Sammy – Dean?

I'll be there in 5 minutes. If not, read this again – Dean

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Dean – I miss you, wish you would get here sooner. I'm sleeping with that

ship you left in the bathroom :)

I was not aware I did such thing – Cas

Dean – Yeah, Its cute and makes me feel better when your not here

I do not understand – Cas

Dean – Oh I see, shirt. I meant shirt

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Cas – Dean, I believe there is something wrong with my phone. I do not

believe that my texts are getting through

No, there getting through – Dean

Cas – How can you be sure?

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Sammybear – Gabriel, I need your help

About time. Let me grab the condoms, ill be right over – Gabriel

Sammybear – I'm serious Gabriel

So am I, Samsey – Gabriel

Sammybear – Don't call me that. I'm not having sex with you. I need to play a prank on Dean.

Not as fun as sex, but close. Anything in mind? - Gabriel

Sammybear – Not really.. That's why I need your help.

Okay I've already got a bunch of ideas. I need you to get me a good gun, a stripper and Chunky Monkey. I like them after a successful prank- Gabriel

Sammybear – A gun? Gabriel, I want to prank him. Not kill him.

Oh... This might take some time then – Gabriel

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	22. Chapter 22

/

Sammy - I'll be back at the bunker soon. Do you want anything from whore foods?

 **If your at whore foods, I'll take something something tall and blonde – Dean**

If your at whole foods, we need some milk – Dean

/

Ezekiel - What's wrong brother? Upset that I got inside of Sam Winchester before you did. It's quite a snug fit.

 **EZEKIEL I WILL KILL YOU GET OUT RIGHT NOW – Gabriel**

Ezekiel - I would love to continue this conversation but Sam and I must shower. Humans do this in the nude, yes?

 **JADUHWNDAIDNIAD – Gabriel**

/

Dean – Someone told me you sound like an owl.

 **How do I sound like an owl, Dean? - Cas**

Dean – Dammit. You were supposed to say "who?"

 **Oh. my apologies, Dean – Cas**

 **Who? - Cas**

Dean – nevermind Cas, the moments gone.

/

Dean – what the hell Cas? Are you throwing things to get my attention? What the hell did I get you a phone for?

 **I apologize Dean, you are correct – Cas**

Dean – Did you just throw your damn phone!?

/

Dean – Hows it going? Getting everything?

 **Yeah, we just need a few more two by fours and we will be done – Sammy**

Dean – Awesome, we can head over to Home Depot later.

Dean – Can we cram them in my ass?

 **I did not need to hear that. Leave the kinky shit for you and Cas to know about, Dean – Sammy**

Dean – Son of a bitch. I meant will they fit in my ass

Dean – in the goddamn back of the goddamn Impala. Jesus.

/

Dean – Text me when you get back to the bunker with the condoms I asked you to pick up.

 **We've talked about this, Dean. I am not getting anywhere near you and Cas's "fun time" - Sammy**

Dean – Sorry Sammy, meant to text Cas. His name is like right next to yours on my phone.

 **How is that possible? C and S are on the opposite sides of the alphabet? - Sammy**

Dean – I don't have a lot of contacts in between, all right?

Dean – Well, I accidentally messaged Sam about our plans. I really need to change your name from Sweet Sultry Sex Addict in my phone, Cas.

 **DEAN – Sammy**

/

Sammy – Jody and Claire are on their way over so we can talk about the case over breakfast. You and Cas need to hurry up and finish whatever it is your doing and pick up all your guy's 'things'.

 **Oh, sorry. I didn't realize breakfast was going to be held in my room – Dean**

Sammy – just do it

/

Cassie – Gabriel. I learned what puns are and how to "make" them.

 **Better then last time, I hope – Gabriel**

Cassie – Yes, I have improved, would you like to hear one?

 **No – Gabriel**

Cassie – What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

 **Alright, what? - Gabriel**

Cassie – nothing, they just "waved".

 **No, Cassie, No – Gabriel**

Cassie – did you "sea" what I did there?

 **No – Gabriel**

Cassie – I'm "shore" you did

 **How did you ever get a boyfriend? - Gabriel**

Cassie – Don't be such a "beach", Gabriel.

/


	23. Chapter 23

/

Sammy – Hey Dean, do you know where the stuff I was using to make a few salads is at? None of it is in the fridge.

 **YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU HAD TO DO IT TO ME AGAIN! IM PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS AND ONLY HAD ONE DAMN BIRD LEFT YOU MADE MY BIRD GO BACKWARDS AND FOR DAMN LETTUCE I HATE YOU I COULDVE WON – Dean**

/

Sammybear – m alwys soo mean t you bt I don meant it. You are a coool gey

 **Be still my heart. Listen, Sammybear, I really appreciate the thought but I can't mess around with you while you're drunk. It's against my moral code – Gabriel**

Sammybear – im alry prettty nadek

 **I'll be right there – Gabriel**

/

Dean – Why does fucking autocorrect to "ducking" on my phone?

Dean – Why would I ever want to use that word, it's not even a real word!

Dean – If I want to say fucking, why would there be a duck ducking?

Dean – What would ducking even mean?

Dean – Would it actual involve ducks?

 **You mean like another term for bending down? - Sammy**

Dean - …

Dean – You know what, shut it.

/

Crowley – But anyway, how've you been Squirrel?

 **I will slice off your arms and chop off your legs and shove them down your throat and while you are choking on your very own limbs, I will saw off your head with a toothbrush just to ensure you the slow painful death you deserve – Dean**

Crowley – Well that's ominous

 **Dean – Heh, stupid autocorrect. I meant good.**

/

Sammy – I'm back at the bunker

 **Aweigh – Dean**

 **Awed him – Dean**

 **Awesome – Dean**

 **Gods glam it – Dean**

 **Shit I whirl – Dean**

 **Quit – Dean**

 **DHWWN – Dean**

 **DUCKING AUTOCORRECT – Dean**

 **GET ME A GODDAMN NEW PHONE – Dean**

Sammy – Dean, let me tell you how autocorrect works

Sammy – Autocorrect only corrects words to ACTUAL words.

Sammy – You're just bad at typing.

/

Sammy – English lesson. "You're welcome" means "you are welcome". "Your welcome" is incorrect. "Your" shows ownership. "You're" means "You are"

 **screw you – Dean**

/

Cas – Dean, I need your help. I think I keep getting missed calls.

 **From who? No one should have that number, Cas – Dean**

Cas – From someone named "Betty Low". I believe

 **.. - Dean**

 **Battery low? - Dean**

Cas – Yeah. That's what it was. Do you keep getting missed calls from that name too?

 **That's it. I'm done. - Dean**

/


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